Frustrations

I think I store the little frustrations I have in me. Usually when things happen, I just smile & move on. But come to think of it, I'm just avoiding the problem.

Then when they overflow in me, it's really horrible. I feel like . I can't even describe it. Wanted to say as if my parents have just died. But no, it's worse than that. It's like I'm angry, sad & tired all at the same time.

I want to die, disappear from here, cry myself dry, pull out all my hair & kill someone all at once. I don't know if this is an indication of my insanity. I ask God why He does this to me.. maybe to test my patience? I don't know if I can take it.

Weird thing is, after crying like mad (it is really very bad I can't even describe it again), I actually feel better. Ready to challenge the world again. Gauge is reset back to 0. The cycle restarts.

Pretending that I'm fine.

Feel so tired.